Standing at the Crossroads

Strange is our situation here on Earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to divine a purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: that man is here for the sake of other men — above all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness depends. 
Albert Einstein 

You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:11

We live by faith, not by sight. 

2 Corinthians 5:7

 

I’ve grown up believing that in life, God would direct my path through life. It’s kind of just one of those things you take for granted. Until you’re standing at the crossroads of your life wondering which road to travel down. I thought I knew what I was supposed to do with my life; it all seemed so clear. Then when I go to actually do it, enormous boulders roll down from the surrounding hills, nearly knock me down, and seemingly block the path I thought I was going to take. At this point, the path of my life becomes entirely entangled in that age old question: “what is God’s will for my life?” Was I wrong? Did I have it all backwards? Is the path I was so sure of my creation instead of His? And how do you KNOW? 

So the question becomes: can I give it all up? Everything that I have hoped for and dreamed of and planned my life around? Could it really just be gone at the snap of God’s fingers? I like my plans. They make me happy. I like where they take me. They make me feel in control of my life. And when I admit this to myself the obvious truth is staring me in the face. Maybe this is why. They are my plans; not His. 

Still, the argument. What if this is just Him testing me? What if I am supposed to do whatever it takes to forge away, roll away the boulders; anything to pursue the path I have been working towards for so long? Stop and think. I have to ask myself: at what cost? What will be the cost of forcing my way onto this path that seems so impossible to travel? And who will pay the price? My family…me? Is it right to pursue something that would put so much strain on so many people? 

But what is going to happen to my life if I do not find a way onto this path? And suddenly it becomes a question of faith. Faith:complete trust or confidence in someone. It’s so much easier to trust myself. But as a Christian I know that I am called to place my faith in someone other than myself. In someone who has proven His ability to care for a provide in ways that I never could. But still…the hesitance. Do I exhaust all of my possibilities and try to make it work – giving up only when I have no other choice? 

After the inward battle, still I do not know. Life seems more confusing than ever before. I do not want to travel down a path that is not right for me. Yet, I want to be sure that I do not miss the road I was supposed to take. Though, I take comfort in knowing that God could always direct me down that path later in my journey. In my heart I know what it takes for the path to be right. Certain things need to happen in certain ways. Otherwise, it’s just not worth it. The only thing that will give my heart peace about the decision is prayer. In this way, He will tell me which way  to turn. It’s amazing the way your heart can talk to you. 

I want you to know, Ellie, something about life. It is full of many adventures, yes. However sometimes the adventure we desire the most is not the adventure we are meant to pursue. In every adventure you take, in every road you travel, be sure to stop. Stop and check in with the One who planned your journey before you even were born. After all, the adventure He has planned is sure to be a thousand times more exciting than the one you plan for yourself.  

 

Because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. James 1:3
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